Pinto is Dead!!!

Let me give you some background information. Pinto was an Australian Shepherd that belonged to my husband Augustine before we dated. I met Pinto only once when I went to Augustine's house for the first time. We were rarely at his house. Because Augustine was at my apartment most of the time, Pinto ran away and was never found. I didn't know that until after Ripley, my black chihuahua, and I moved in with Augustine a few months after we got engaged. I felt extremely bad for Pinto's disappearance.

Now, more than eight years later, we have three dogs who stay indoors when we're not home. Our dogs, Ripley, Morpheus and Elektra are our kids. They sleep with us and have a healthier diet than we do. They are spoiled but that was by choice (my choice, to be honest).

With that said, my story begins. It was a morning in December of last year when I happened to hear a knock on my front door. Of course, the dogs started barking simultaneously. I quickly glanced outside the window and noticed that the gardener was already there working in the front yard. Ordinarily, I would ignore people knocking on my door and allow my dogs to scare them off with their barks. However, I opened the front door assuming it was the gardener with a question for me.

To my dismay and annoyance, the gardener had knocked on my door to let me know that there was someone wanting to talk to me. Urrgh...that someone was a worker from the Animal Services from the City of Los Angeles. I don't remember the guy's name but for the sake of the story, I'll call him "Joe." Joe gave me his spiel about going around the neighborhood making sure that all the dogs were up to date with their licenses. As he talked, my mind became frantic. Knowing that my dogs weren't current with their licenses, I was trying to think of plausible explanations to offer this guy.

After confirming my name and address, Joe said, "So, we have here that you have three dogs, Pinto, Ripley and Morpheus."

"Yes," I replied slowly. But my mind, still churning, thought, "Oh good, maybe I'll just pass Elektra off as Pinto so that he'll leave her alone."

"It shows in our records that the dogs are registered but that you haven't been paying the license fees for them," said Joe, and then told me the number of years I had neglected to pay. He continued, "Mam, you can take care of this now or go in front of a judge."

In front of a judge?!! Really? For neglected renewal fees for my dogs?... And, when in the heck did I become a "Mam"? Okay, I honestly do not mind paying renewal fees for my dogs. They are only fifteen dollars per "altered" dog in the City of Los Angeles. But why wasn't I given a notice? I'd get one from the DMV, Triple A, the Acupuncture Board, etc., and when I do, I would always pay. Seriously, with all the bills that people pay every month, who thinks about the annual renewal fees for a dog license? Obviously, I don't.

Finally, I asked calmly, "So, can you tell me how much I owe?" I was ready and willing to pay.

"Well, since you hadn't been paying for the license fees, there's a penalty of $500 per dog on top of what you owe," Joe simply said.

In a second, my brain had multiplied three by five hundred dollars and deliriously arrived at FIFTEEN HUNDRED DOLLARS??!!

Shocked, I blurted out, "But Pinto is dead!!!" (foolishly thinking one less dog equals five hundred dollars less)

"But you said he was one of the three dogs you had," Joe said with confusion.

"Yes, we HAD Pinto," I emphasized, regaining my composure. "But he died a long time ago."

"But, you have three dogs," he said knowingly. He looked at me as if challenging me to deny this fact.

How in the world did he know I had three dogs? Did one of the neighbors tell him? Do these people have that much time looking into people's backyards and counting the number of dogs? I was baffled.

"Ehh...well, yeah. We found a dog in our backyard and we decided to keep her," I said.

Joe opened his pad and started to write. "So, how long have you had her?" he asked.

"Umm, I think we found her.. ehh.. last year," I said hesitantly because I was lying.

Joe asked me all sorts of questions. He wanted to know her name, age, breed, and was she spayed? When I said that she was, Joe wanted the name of the veterinary hospital where it was done. He needed to verify that indeed Elektra was spayed.

Dreadfully, but dutifully, I gave Joe the name and number of the hospital. I knew another lie would be discovered. The truth was we did find Elektra in our backyard and decided to keep her. But we found her at least four years prior. I phoned my husband as Joe called the vet hospital. I told Augustine what was happening and how mortified I felt because Joe would know that once again, I had lied.

"Why didn't you just tell the truth?" Augustine asked me.

"I don't know. I guess I just panicked," I replied. The whole situation was so unexpected.

By the time I got off the phone with Augustine, Joe had also finished with his call to the vet.

"Okay," Joe said, "the receptionist told me that Elektra was spayed in April 2003."

"Oh, wow, hmm," I said very meekly. What could I say? I wanted to minimize further embarrassment.

When Joe overlooked my lies, I realized that his only goal was to extract money from me. He kindly waived the fifteen hundred dollar penalty fee since I was "being so honest" with him. He didn't sound sarcastic when he said that, but then again I was too stressed to notice. In retrospect, Joe probably didn't expect anybody to pay the penalty fee especially in our present economy. But it was a good scare tactic. Hey, it worked with me. Consequently, I paid for the years I was behind for Ripley and Morpheus. However, Joe was very lenient when it came to Elektra. I only had to pay for one year instead of the six years I have had her.

On a side note, I would have had to pay more if my dogs weren't fixed. It's a violation if you have an "unaltered" dog, unless you have the "intact" dog license or a "breeder" permit. Thank god, it was easy to prove that Morpheus was neutered. I just had to parade him in front of Joe to show that he was scrota-less. Poor Morpheus, he was so afraid I was giving him away that his eyes were wide open with anxiety. I had to reassure him that Joe only wanted to make certain he had no balls, literally.

After I had given Joe my check which amounted to almost three hundred dollars, I asked him whether the City of Los Angeles accepted a titer certification in lieu of the vaccination. He had never heard of a titer. So I explained to him what it was.

A titer is taking a sample of blood to determine whether the dog's immunity is high enough so that it wouldn't need to be vaccinated. Dogs and cats are found to be over-vaccinated causing future health problems. Titers are available in veterinary hospitals but you have to ask for them. I usually recommend titers to be done especially for elderly animals. Why would you want to inject toxins in an already weak and possibly comprised body?

My normal habit is to tell the truth, so I tried to understand my dishonesty with Joe. I realized that my behavior stemmed from my desire to protect my dogs from getting the rabies vaccination. I'm not a fan of vaccinations. Yes, dogs should be vaccinated during the first year of their lives but that's it. This is my belief. If you think about children, they are only vaccinated the first few years of their lives. They don't get a yearly vaccination afterwards. Why should animals be different, especially when their life span is much shorter? As much as our dogs protect us, we have a responsibility to protect them in return.

This story came to mind because just a week ago, I FINALLY got a notice for Ripley's license renewal. Since she is fourteen years old, she no longer needs to be vaccinated...that's what Joe told me. You can bet that her renewal fee will be paid. I do NOT want another encounter with Joe.

Love your dog. If you don't have one, adopt or save one. Then, protect them as best as you can because that's what they would do for you.

Thank you for visiting my weekly blog. Any comments are welcomed.