Should I Stay or Should I Go?

When my husband Augustine and I had been dating for awhile, he mentioned one evening that he and a couple of his friends had been talking about having to sleep with their girlfriend's pet. Apparently, one of them had given his girlfriend the ultimatum of having either him or the cat in bed. Sadly, the girlfriend chose the friend. I knew immediately where the conversation was heading but I allowed Augustine to continue as I remained silent.

"So," Augustine had said,"when I told them that Ripley slept with us, they mentioned that maybe I should give you the same ultimatum."

"Oh really?...Hmm," I said. I paused for a second, then with much deliberation continued, "I've had Ripley much longer than I've been with you, and Ripley and I have been through a lot together. There's no way she's sleeping anywhere else." That was all I had to say and Augustine had never mentioned it again. By the way, my husband doesn't remember that conversation.

Since then, Augustine has changed his tune. It is expected that Ripley sleeps with us, and when she isn't in bed with us for whatever reason, Augustine would get up, find her and bring her to bed. In fact, Ripley chooses to sleep next to Augustine more often than with me. I just don't understand how that happened, but it really gnaws at me sometimes. Can you blame me? She was my dog first!

Needless to say, with the addition of Morpheus and Elektra in our pack, we were cramped in our queen size bed. Lack of space became an issue. Augustine would end up at the edge of the bed, on the verge of falling off and I was usually on my back with one leg draped over Morpheus while the other one underneath Elektra. It was so uncomfortable we barely got sleep. But our dogs slept fabulously.

Sooner than later, sleep deprivation came, and it made me IRRITABLE. Poor Augustine bore the brunt of it. In order to maintain the harmony between us, we bought a traditional king size bed. We needed sleep. It was ridiculous that the dogs were the only ones getting precious sleep, especially since they were at home all day sleeping while Augustine and I worked.

Our new bed looked massive, and it was wonderfully spacious. Certainly, our dogs felt the difference too because they soon started to sprawl out, and Morpheus, our lab/pit mix, was the worst offender. He had a terrible habit of sleeping horizontally in the middle of the bed and was badly influencing Ripley. Yes, even Ripley began spreading her little body between our pillows at the head of the bed. In a short period of time, our bed seemed to have shrunk, and we found ourselves in the same predicament, but to a lesser degree, thank goodness.

Having enough space in bed was a hot commodity, and the dogs were in possession of it. They were usually the first ones in bed which meant they got the best spots. Fortunately, we realized that WE controlled the treats. It was easy to entice them away from their holding, and it worked every time. Hey, it's a fair exchange, what you would call a "win-win" situation. And, I learned to waste no time in claiming my spot in bed, because one time, Morpheus beat me to it. I didn't think he would finish devouring his treat before I reached the bed.

Ripley and Elektra are pretty good about getting up and moving elsewhere in bed. It's Morpheus who is a challenge. You cannot budge that boy when he's fast asleep. He becomes dead weight. You would think that he would wake up as we attempt to move him aside, but he doesn't. Maybe I should, but I don't have the heart to wake him when he's happily snoring away. So, we resort to sleeping around him.

Ahh, but once everyone is in bed and satisfied with his/her wiggle room, it's awesome having the dogs sleep around us. There is a feeling of coziness and warmth that is indescribable, which also has the ability to lull you to sleep. And, there's a sense of bonding and security that you feel with your dogs that I know you cannot feel when you share a bed with people. At least, I don't feel that bond when I have to share a bed with one or two of my sisters.

A problem arises when the urge to pee occurs in the middle of the night. It isn't a problem if Morpheus isn't sleeping next to me. But when he is, I have to think twice about going to the bathroom. There has to be a desperate need to pee.

Recently, I made a big mistake in drinking a ton of water before going to bed. I had run on the treadmill and was very thirsty. But I thought I would be fine since I made several trips to the bathroom before retiring for bed. That night Morpheus decided to sleep next to me. I was snoozing away peacefully until I was awoken by my bladder. Opening one eye, I noticed it was three in the morning. Even though I was half asleep, I was cognizant of Morpheus right against me. He hadn't shifted from his position. So, I asked myself, "should I stay or should I go?" (Just like that song from the 80's by The Clash)

Immediately my mind answered, "Stay, I can hold it for a few more hours. I don't need to go that badly."

Persuaded by my internal voice, I stayed and invited sleep to come back. In less than a minute, my bladder made it known that it seriously needed to release the water it was struggling to hold.

A little worried, because my thought went back to Morpheus, I asked again, "should I stay or go?"

This time my inner voice said pressingly, "You better go. Just go." It sensed that my bladder was rapidly loosing containment.

"Mind over body," I thought. So, I asserted, "I can hold it. YES, I CAN!!...I just won't think about it."

But that's all I could do was think about it. Shortly after, I felt a sharp poke in my bladder.....Oh man, I can't hold it! I really have to go!!! Drats!

There are times when the body will stop listening to the mind and act independently. Truly, the body has its own intelligence.

Not wanting to have an accident in bed, I reluctantly rolled out of it. But before I rushed to the bathroom, I firmly whispered to Morpheus, "You stay where you are. Don't move!"

FYI, in case you didn't know, dogs do not hear negatives, meaning the words "no" and "don't" are not included in their vocabulary. An animal communicator had told me this, and I have also read it in a book. Therefore, if you tell a dog, "don't eat that crap," that dog will go ahead and "eat that crap," because that's what he heard you say.

So, when I returned to bed finding Morpheus in my place, I could only shake my head. Clearly, it was my fault. What did I expect? Weren't my last words to him, "Don't move?" By saying that, he heard me give him the green light to go ahead and move. After all, he is an obedient dog. I could only be mad at myself.

It's a big decision allowing your dog to sleep in bed with you because it WILL affect your sleep. But I find that the positives of having my dogs sleep with me far outweigh the negatives. When I go out of town, and I have to sleep in bed alone, my first thought goes to my dogs. I miss their presence more than my husband's (sorry honey, but it's true). I cannot imagine being without them in bed (or anywhere else really), that's how attached I am to them.

Sleep is just as important to people as it is to dogs. It regenerates us, and it is during sleep when healing occurs in the body if there is an injury or any disharmony. Furthermore, as we sleep, the hormone melatonin is secreted by the pineal gland when there is complete darkness. The presence of light will stop its production. This includes light from the television, cell phone, night light and computer. This hormone helps boost the immune system in both dogs and humans. Studies have shown that insufficient amount of melatonin is associated with breast cancer in female dogs and women. It's a good thing to keep in mind if you fall asleep with the television on.

Love your dog. If you don't have one, adopt or save one. Then, for the sake of yours and your dog's health, make sure both of you get some deep, uninterrupted sleep in total darkness as much as possible.

Thank you for visiting my weekly blog. Any comments are very welcomed!