Dog vs. "Dog"

Through the years of treating animals with acupuncture, I've been asked a number of times, "What animal wouldn't you treat?" Without hesitation, my answer is always,"snakes!" I know it's a reptile but that makes no difference to me. Sorry snake lovers, I don't mean to offend you, but there's no way I would treat your pet of choice. Even if you pleaded with me to treat your suffering, dying snake, I would have to say, "pass." I just can't do it. You would have to find another acupuncturist, otherwise your snake would continue to suffer and then die.

Ever since I was a little girl, I've had an aversion to snakes. I don't know why. Maybe it's the texture of their skin or the way they slither around that makes my body cringe. I can remember clearly my first camp. There was a guy name Sandy who sat on a chair in the center of a circle of kids including myself. Intertwining his arms was a snake. Sandy was educating us on the amphibian, but I felt my brain shut down. It refused to absorb the information due to fear or repulsion, take your pick because it was probably both. Besides, my energy was focused on the snake, making sure that if it escaped Sandy's grip somehow, I would be ready to run.

When Sandy had finished giving his talk, he told all the boys and girls that they can come up one by one to pet the snake. Sandy noticed that I remained in my chair along with another little girl. So, he asked both of us if we wanted to touch the snake. The other girl was more courageous than I because she got up and hesitantly brushed the snake with her fingers. I, on the other hand, just looked straight at Sandy with my lips tightly together, and firmly shook my head "no" while thinking, "I'm not stupid! There's no way I'm going near that." Soon followed by my next thought, "Why does this man have a girl's name?" I was ten years old, okay?!! I wasn't savvy to the world yet.

So, this leads me to today's topic of the metaphors people use. Please know that I speak for all dogs, or at least my three dogs. When speaking of men who act like jerks and scoundrels, can we please refer to them as "snakes" instead of "dogs"? Why must people continue to say, "He's such a dog!"? This is an insult to dogs. Dogs are loyal and trustworthy. They would never cheat on you or treat you like dirt. More importantly, you can rest assured that when you go to sleep next to a dog, no harm will be done to you.

But a snake, specifically a python, is not so trustworthy. If it breaks out of its glass container near your bed (because a snake is known to be a great escape artist), you may not wake up the next day. Chances are the python may choke you to death in your sleep. There have been reports of that happening. Where's the loyalty or trust in that behavior? Isn't a snake a more likely representative for an untrustworthy louse of a man? Yes, I know that there are women with these characteristics. But the majority of people associate the metaphor to men.

Also, let's stop saying, "He's a lying dog!" Why a dog? Dogs are so honest. They cannot hide their true feelings. Just look into their eyes and you'll see the truth. I remember when I was taking care of my sister's dog Bailey at the end of last year. Bailey, a bug-eyed Boston Terrier, had a habit of peeing and pooping in the house, which she doesn't do anymore, thank god. One morning I found poop in the living room just as I was going to let the dogs out to do their business. I asked my dogs and Bailey, "Who did this?" pointing at the poop. First, I looked at my three dogs who stood there staring back at me. Seeing the expression in their wide eyes, I could tell each were saying, "I didn't do it. I swear, mom!" And, I believed them. I knew they were innocent.

However, when I looked at Bailey, she had jumped on the couch and went into the down position. "Did you do this?" I calmly asked her. Bailey immediately covered her face between her front paws (she was so cute, I had to stop myself from smiling). When she finally looked up at me a few seconds later, I repeated my question sternly just to see her reaction again. She averted her eyes from me and hid her face the second time. She couldn't look at me because she knew I would see the truth. Judging from her behavior, I knew she was the culprit.

In comparison, snakes have no expressions. How could they? They have no external ears, eyelashes or eyelids. They only have their beady, little eyes. Without facial features, and having black, globular eyes, it's more difficult seeing the truth in their face. Do we not look upon the eyes as the seat of the soul where we search for truth? In fact, I would be more suspicious of a guy with beady eyes than one with soft, big eyes. Quick survey: who would you trust with your dog, John Malkovich or George Clooney?......I would be surprised if anyone chose John Malkovich with those creepy, closely set, eyes of his (although I worked with someone who thought he was drop dead gorgeous).

And, who came up with, "You lazy dog!"? Dogs are far from lazy. They want to work. They just have to be given a job. For example, Ripley's job is to alert Morpheus and Elektra of any strange noise outside the house, and they investigate. Talk about teamwork. Morpheus and Elektra have an extra task of making sure that the yards are clear of any critters including human ones. Morpheus guards the front while Elektra watches over the back. They take their work very seriously. They are better than a security alarm system that people have in their homes. The loud sound of an alarm system may deter some intruders but I think most (if not all) will be dissuaded by the possibility of a dog's bite when the barking begins.

Pray tell, what kind of job could a snake possibly do around the house? Okay, maybe it could catch some rats for you, but I cannot imagine any snake actively hunting for rodents, catch one and drop it in front of its owner. If it were to capture a rat, it would be for the reason of feeding itself. I don't know why but I imagine a snake to be selfish (maybe because it's not a social creature), which is the complete opposite of a dog. So, "lazy" is a more appropriate description for a snake as a pet.

Finally, why must some people call an ugly, hideous person a "dog"? I haven't met a dog I didn't find adorable in some way. A dirty dog could look unappealing I suppose, but after it's been bathed, it's beautiful again. And, if there were an unpleasant looking dog out there, the minute it starts to smile, wag its tail and show affection to you, its inner beauty would come out....Can you tell my bias towards dogs?

In contrast, a snake is limbless (no hugs from a snake unless you count strangling), expressionless, shows no affection, and when it starts to wag its short tail, it's warning you to stay away. These are all attributes that point to "unattractive." A snake neither elicits any warmth nor fuzzy feelings that you would get from a dog. So, the word "snake" or even "worm", which is like a miniature snake to me, should replace "dog" in these familiar metaphors.

Would it be so much to ask to change, or even discard these metaphors implying that a dog is an unworthy animal? I think not. Whenever I hear someone use dogs negatively in a metaphor, I let that person know that it's very degrading to dogs. I believe that the person who originated these figure of speeches clearly had no understanding nor insights on dogs. Certainly, he was no dog lover otherwise he would have used a different animal to scorn, like a snake.

Talking about figure of speech, if curiosity killed the cat, then it's curiosity that will get a dog bitten by a snake. Please know that if this happens, the first two hours after the bite is crucial for the dog's life. You need to get your dog to the emergency vet and hope that they have the antidote "antivenin" for the snake bite in case the snake was poisonous. Being able to identify the type of snake that had bitten your dog would be advantageous for his treatment. Some signs that your dog may exhibit if bitten are panting, drooling, weakness, vomiting, and shock. Also, on the site of the bite, there will be swelling and two puncture wounds.

Love your dog. If you don't have one, adopt or save one. And, if you value your dog's life, please be alert and aware of his whereabouts and behavior, especially if he is off leash, when hiking in areas where there may be snakes that could strike at your beloved dog. Lastly, the dog I know and love isn't the same "dog" used in well known metaphors. So, please refrain from using metaphors with dogs unless of course they are personified in a positive light.

Thanks again for visiting my weekly blog. Any comments are always welcomed.