Boys and Their Toys

When Morpheus was about a year old, I bought him a squeaky, red paisley doll that I found from Linens 'N Things. It was his first toy and he loved it. He played with it and made sure it was next to him whenever he went to bed. As expected, he chewed on that doll so much that pretty soon it was raggedy, it no longer squeaked, and the inside fillers were exposed. I went back to the store to get another one but there was none left. So, Augustine used duck tape in attempt to keep this doll intact. Morpheus didn't seem to mind the thick, silver bandage that covered his treasure. He still slept with it under his chin and every once in awhile I'd notice he would gently gnaw at it as if he knew it was fragile. It was amusing and touching to see. I don't recall what happened to his doll but I'm sure at one point I had to throw it away.

Since that red doll, I haven't seen Morpheus behave the same way with the other toys I've bought him. He's never displayed the tenderness nor attachment he had with the red doll. Ripley and Elektra are not into toys. Occasionally, Elektra enjoyed chewing on a squeaky ball and tormenting Morpheus with it when he didn't have one. Even though I would give each one the same squeaky toy, Morpheus would somehow lose his and Elektra would become in possession of it. When that happens, Morpheus, like a little boy, would start barking and I know he's complaining about how Elektra took his toy. Because I've never seen either Ripley or Elektra form attachments to toys, it made me wonder if the desire to have toys is gender related. Of course, this made me think of the toys my husband has acquired.

Hmm...the toys my husband has. We have the Playstation, the Xbox, his massive collection of comic books, figurines of Chinese deities, swords and other martial arts stuff, guitars galore (I know he's a musician but does he need that many guitars?), walking sticks (What the heck? He's not an old man. He's never even used one stick during our hikes) and of course, his motorcycle. Oh boy, he takes care of his motorcycle as if it were a delicate baby especially when he polishes it down. I wish he would give the dishes the same attention. Thank god he's not into sports otherwise we would have sports memorabilia that I would have to give away without him knowing. This man has more things than I do. Certainly, he's got more hair products, and I'm the female in the relationship!

What is it with boys and their toys? I realize that not every man has to have toys but it seems as if many of them do. And, there are probably women out there who have their toys but I believe the majority is more interested in adorning themselves with nice clothes, shoes or jewelry. I know I am. Do men need something to preoccupy their hands? Perhaps they need external distractions to avoid evaluating what's going on internally? Or is it because they just refuse to grow up?

Maybe men do need something to keep their hands busy. It could have originated from when men were the hunters and women the gathers. I'm thinking that because men don't need to hunt for our food any longer, they neither get physically exhausted nor experience the adrenalin rush from chasing an animal. So, they look upon their toys to give them those sensations. What the spears did for those hunters, the controllers for these video games (or even the remote control) are doing for men of our time. Who knows. I'm just theorizing here.

Okay, are men wanting external distractions so they don't have to deal with internal issues? Let's just say "OH YEAH!" on that. To be fair, not all men, but many of them avoid expressing what's going on internally. I know, there are also women who create diversions for the same reason. Honestly, I don't know a lot of men who have voluntarily told me what was going on emotionally unless I dragged it out of them. Maybe it was just the men I happened to have chosen when I was single. You know, the emotionally unavailable ones, except for my husband of course. At least, Augustine gives me more than a one word answer most of the time. For sure, Morpheus would be more verbose than my husband if he could speak my language. I can see that he wants to tell me things, especially when he tilts his head to one side and starts making those talking sounds.

Do men cling to their toys because it makes them feel young or are they just mentally young? It's one thing to want to be "boyish" at the age of forty but who wants a forty year old boy? No thanks. I think I dated that guy a long time ago, and married the boyish one. How else would you describe a guy who asks your dogs, "Who wants to howl like a wolf?", and then howls at the top of his lungs causing all our dogs to howl in unison? This is my husband. Anyway, I don't think there's anything wrong with having "toys" because people need something pleasurable to take up their time when they're not working. Also, if having "toys" allow the inner child to come out, then that's even better. With the responsibilities of life, we all need to play. But I think, if women wanted to, we should be allowed to play with our partner's toys occasionally so we don't feel left out. Isn't that what we were taught in kindergarten, to share? It should also apply to the "big" boy toys.

Out of curiosity, I asked Augustine why he had all the toys I mentioned. He explained the reason for having each. The explanation that stuck most with me was his feeling of freedom from riding his motorcycle... Hmm, should I take that personally? Nah, I can relate. I've ridden on a motorcycle many times before and I can understand how the speed, the wind on your face and the openness of the road can feel so invigorating. I get similar sensations when I'm running and the endorphins have kicked in. I'm sure dogs feel likewise when they are racing around, just going absolutely nuts at a park or beach, and you see a huge smile on their face. It's as if time has stood still and there's no care in the world. It's a fantastic feeling!

I don't know about your household but in mine, toys do not last very long. A toy is usually shredded apart within minutes with Morpheus. But to see his smile and excitement when he knows there's a squeaky toy for him make the purchase so worth it for me. Although, I do sometimes think of the three venti iced green teas from Starbucks I could have bought with the money that one toy cost me after it's been destroyed so quickly. I'm just glad that Ripley and Elektra don't have the same reaction with toys. Ripley's toys last forever, unless Morpheus gets a hold of them. I have to hide her toys from him because once he has torn his to bits, he goes looking for Ripley's. Occasionally, he finds them, and when he does, Ripley would give me a look that says, "Oh well, no big deal." She's such a little Buddhist with her non-attachment attitude. With toys (and everything else), the bottom line is if my dogs are happy, then I'm happy. Isn't that the way every dog owner feels?

With regards to the kind of toys Morpheus likes, it has to squeak. If it doesn't make a sound, he's not interested. So, I have learned to buy only squeaky toys. This is similar to some guys who are fascinated with loud noise. The louder the better for them just like with their cars and motorcycles. When I play ball with Morpheus and Elektra, the balls I throw for Morpheus all squeak otherwise he won't bother retrieving them. One time I couldn't get to his ball fast enough, so I threw the one closest to me that didn't squeak. He stopped at his tracks, watched the ball roll and then gave me this look like "that one doesn't squeak!" Geez, he must have memorized all the balls that squeaked. How else could he have known? There are dozens of balls just laying around in the back yard. So, he waited until I got his special ball to throw. Go figure!

Sometimes, I wish Augustine would just be happy with a squeaky ball. We would have more room in the library and garage. Although if he were to collect squeaky balls, he would probably have bins full of different balls. But at least we would all be together playing outside and soaking in some sun, which would be healthy for all of us. Everybody needs Vitamin D that our body makes in response to sunlight, even dogs! Besides the health benefits of aiding in our bone growth, helping with calcium absorption, lowering the blood pressure, etc., it's been found that this natural Vitamin D attaches to cancer cells slowing down its growth and therefore reducing metastasis. It also prevents formation of capillaries that cancer cells need to supply them with food. Definitely, our body needs this vitamin!

On a side note, I wouldn't be surprised to find a Vitamin D deficiency in people. It seems as if most people don't get enough sunshine just because they are indoors when they are at work and then at home, they are probably either in front of a computer or television. Thank goodness for dogs. It's due to them that many owners venture outside and are able to get sunlight.

Love your dog. If you don't have one, adopt or save one. Then, go outside, throw a ball, frisbee, or whatever toy your dog loves, and play with them. Shed your "adult" self (which is easy to do when your with your dog), allow yourself to be childlike and have fun under the sun. It's healthy for everyone involved physically, mentally and emotionally.

Thank you for visiting my weekly blog. Any comments are welcomed.