Find Me A Match

This past Saturday at the vet hospital, my favorite client couple came with their two dogs, Ana and Dena. Even though I only treat Ana, a Rottweiler, her younger sister Dena comes along. You would think it would be for moral support but really it's to prevent her from creating damage to their house if she were to stay at home. I was told that she's quite a terror as she has a proclivity for chewing. But, if you were to look at her, you would think that she was just a curious but well-behaved little dog with a sweet face that says, "I'm innocent." Of course, looks are deceiving sometimes.

I bring up this couple because during our conversation, I happen to mention that I had no idea what to write about for this week's blog. So, they started bouncing off some ideas. Then the wife said, "What about relationships," which I had thought about earlier that morning as I was driving to work. The wife was referring to romantic relationships. This made me think of that website that matched single dog owners with each other. I don't remember the name of the website because I didn't pay much attention to it. I was already married at the time and had no need for it. But I thought it was a marvelous concept. If I were single, I would certainly want to find a partner who also loved dogs or at least had the capability of loving dogs, otherwise the relationship wouldn't work for me.

I think about my single friends who are all looking for a mate, and a number of them have tried those matchmaking websites and still have yet to find someone. With all the people in this world, you would think it would be an easy process to find a partner. But boy, it's tough and I do not envy their situation. I remember being single and having Ripley made it tolerable because she was my constant companion. Gosh, I certainly do not miss the downside of a relationship or dating which was the heartache after a break-up. It was agonizing, unless of course I was the one who initiated the break-up. It's true that time is a great healer. But, it also helped to be busy and to surround myself in nature, which I did with Ripley.

Perhaps single dog owners should have their dogs find them a match. They are a fine judge of characters and can weed out the good from the bad. I remember when I was dating this older guy who I'll just call the attorney. Ripley must have been less than two years old. When the attorney first came to my apartment, Ripley refused to greet him. I thought it was odd but figured it was because he was a stranger to her and was unsure about him. But after a number of times of having the attorney come over, Ripley continued to stay away from him. She even barked at him a couple of times when we were just lounging on the couch which really surprised me because she had never done that before. In retrospect, I should have paid close attention to Ripley's behavior because the attorney turned out to be a cad to put it mildly.

After the attorney, I would watch Ripley's reaction towards any guy I dated and brought home. I decided that she would find me a match. Of course, when Augustine came along, she loved him, probably because we went on a lot of hikes together. I recall when we had an animal communicator talk to all our dogs a few years later, Ripley had mentioned that she knew I would end up with Augustine. She felt relieved that I finally met him because she made it her responsibility to find me a partner. The animal communicator said that every time I took Ripley to the park, Ripley was trying to show me off to potential mates. I thought that was hilarious because I went to the park for Ripley, who apparently was moonlighting as my personal matchmaker. So, Ripley had said that after I met Augustine, she wanted to retire in luxury because she felt that her job was done. She didn't have to worry about me any longer.

Speaking of matchmaker, I have to confess that there is a reality show that I love to watch called The Millionaire Matchmaker. Yes, I am not immune to reality shows. But at least I only see a few of them and not on a regular basis. Every time I watch The Millionaire Matchmaker, which isn't often because I forget it's on sometimes, Augustine would say, "I can't take this," and would walk out of the living room. He cannot understand what the fascination is that draws me to this show. Honestly, I get a kick out of Patti, the owner of the Millionaire's Club and the one who finds these millionaires a match. She is so direct with them. She tells them if they have a commitment issue, needs to start dating people their own age, is unrealistic about what they want, etc., and she has no problem dropping them as a client since she has a waiting list of people who want her service. Also, I like the fact that she takes only clients who are seriously wanting to find their true love and are ready for marriage but just don't have the time to look for themselves.

The fact that The Millionaire Matchmaker is on television is indicative of the difficulty in finding that special someone. I think it would help if you get your dog to find you someone just as Ripley was doing. Your dog knows you best, even better than yourself. Your dog has witnessed and experienced your every mood and choices. Sometimes we are blind to our flaws, which we all have, and we kid ourselves that we are one way when we're really the opposite or we want a quality in a person that really isn't good for us. In any case, none of those things help when you're looking for someone who will fit the person you think you are. But your dog knows your true self. She sees right through you. There were times I would do something I know I shouldn't have and when I would look at Ripley, she would be giving me an expression that said, "Why are you doing that?" or "Are you sure you want to do that?" and all I could say to her in response was, "I don't know. I can't help myself."

In many cases, when we date, we tend to date the same type of person and I'm not just talking about appearances. When I think back of all the guys I dated, they were very similar in their looks, intellect and overall attitude. It was as if I were a broken record trying to make it work with the same kind of guy which of course was destined to fail. I was consistently choosing the wrong guy because it was so familiar to me and I didn't want to get out of my comfort zone of dating a different type of guy even though it was better for me. Then, Augustine materialized. He was so different from all the guys I dated. Maybe with the help of your dog you will be led to a different kind of person with whom you may be more compatible.

There are a couple of my female clients who wish that they could find someone like their male dog. I don't blame them for feeling that way. Their dogs are loving, loyal, honest, emotionally available, and not afraid to make a commitment. They sound like they would be a perfect man. Too bad there isn't a conversion machine that would turn these dogs into men. But then if there were a machine in existence, how would an Akita and a Golden Retriever look like as men? I cannot imagine. All I know is one would be Japanese and the other a Caucasian.

I'm sure you have heard the saying, "When you stop looking, the right person will come along," or something like that. I believe this to be true because it actually happened to me. I was very hurt after I had broken up with this younger guy I had been dating. So, I focused on myself, studies and work. I did a lot of meditating, exercising, journaling and taking lots of walks with Ripley. Before I could even think of going out with someone else, I met Augustine. I wasn't even looking. Maybe that's how it works. I needed to work on myself first, feel complete and content with who I was, and then suddenly I attracted the right person. I've heard so many stories of that happening. I believe that right person shouldn't complete you as an individual as many people seem to think. He should just be the icing on the cake who will every once in awhile challenge you to become a better person. And, Augustine has certainly stretched me to become a better person whether I liked it or not. But that seems to be a natural process in a relationship especially in a marriage if you want to make it work.

I wonder how dogs choose their mate. Do they go by what they smell or the energy that the other dog emanates? However they choose, I'm sure they are not as picky as people. Although there are some people who should have been more selective when they chose their partner. It's funny that Ripley was never really smitten by any male dog. At the park, when Ripley was younger she would occasionally run around with other dogs but briefly. It seemed as if she grew tired of them and wanted to move on and be on her own. She reminded me of myself sometimes in that respect.

I am not a relationship expert but I am very observant and listen well enough to understand the dance of dating. Besides, I dated enough guys and waited a long time before I decided to get married. These matchmaking websites have good intentions and are wonderful in connecting two people together which is the easy part. The hard part is once you do get together, how do you determine whether the person is your match for life? Let your dog help you out with that. As I said, dogs are superb judge of characters as well as exceptional listeners. I know I talked to Ripley many times when I was single, and sometimes just hearing your words out loud gives clarity to the situation.

Love your dog. If you don't have one, adopt or save one. Then, if you are single and are looking for a mate, allow your dog to lead you to a possible partner. Who knows your dog may already be working at finding you a match without your knowledge. If you're already dating or have begun to date someone, make sure you pay attention to your dog's behavior around that person. Your dog has an excellent radar for "evil" and will prevent you from wasting your time and probable heartache. If you are single, don't look to someone to complete you as a person or make you happy. The relationship will not last. Find yourself first, feel whole and happy on your own, then the right person will appear. I firmly believe this. In the meantime, you have your loving dog for support and companionship.

Thank you for visiting my weekly blog. Any comments are welcomed.