One Day At A Time

Last week a friend of mine graciously allowed me to come with him to attend his AA meeting at a park. Attending a meeting is part of the requirement for a certification that I'm working towards to become an addiction specialist using acupuncture for people, since I do treat both people and animals. My assignment was to learn and understand the 12-step program and observe the different levels of where people are in the program. I felt a little apprehensive when I arrived since I didn't know what to expect. Fortunately, my friend made me feel comfortable by introducing me to people he knew who also attended the meeting. Everyone I met seemed very nice and friendly.

The focus for the meeting that day was on the 4th step of the program. Quietly, I had to ask my friend what the 4th step was since I didn't know. Without hesitation, he whispered, "made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." This really impressed me when I thought about it. Not many sober people make an "inventory" of themselves because it seems only logical that once you see the list of your past behavior, you may need to make some changes. So, making an "inventory" takes a lot of courage, and some people would rather be in denial because the thought of having to change themselves require tremendous work.

Because I wanted to write about my experience as a tribute to the people who attended the AA meeting including my friend, I thought about how I could weave it into this week's entry. I thought about the personal stories that were shared that day especially the one from a woman who achieved nineteen years of sobriety, and found that the common denominator for many of them was to take life one day at a time. When you're emotionally and psychologically hurting and broken, life is easier to manage and repair day by day. Then I thought about dogs who may be suffering in the same way and have behaved in a manner that society considered "bad" just as some of the behaviors of these AA people were regarded.

What came to mind were the pit bulls that were confiscated from the NFL player Michael Vick's estate when he was arrested for illegally allowing dog fights in his property. When the courts got involved, most of the pit bulls were euthanized because they were deemed incapable of rehabilitation. Twenty-two of them were awarded to Best Friends Animal Sanctuary for special care. Best Friends is a non-profit, no-kill organization that rehabilitates dogs in hope of adopting them out. Dogs that go to Best Friends can stay there for the rest of their life if they cannot find a home, and are provided with the best of veterinary care and training.

There was a documentary on one of the cable shows about the rehabilitation of these twenty-two pit bulls that went to Best Friends. I clearly remember a dog named Georgia who was used mainly for breeding. They showed the contraption that was used to strap her down for the breeding process which was appalling to see. But the most horrific thing that was done to Georgia was the removal of all her teeth. It was speculated that the reason for removing them made her less able to ward off the male dogs that would mount her. It's inconceivable and repulsive to me to know that there was actually a vet who willingly extracted her teeth. Aren't vets supposed to care for animals? Didn't they have to take a vow before they became a vet to do so? Needless to say, Georgia was very fearful and distrustful of people.

Each of the Michael Vick dogs, who were later called the "Vicktory" dogs by Best Friends, was assigned to one person, and a guy named John was selected for Georgia. Because Georgia was so traumatized, she felt extremely distressed just having John in the same room and therefore, withdrew from him. The only time she had human contact while she was at Michael Vick's property was when people strapped her down for breeding. So, it's understandable the reactions she had towards John.

To socialize Georgia, John started sleeping in her kennel at nights to establish the trust and begin the process of being around people without the trauma. John took it one day at a time with Georgia because that was the only way to slowly build her sense of security and control. John never pushed Georgia to do anything she wasn't ready to do but gave gentle guidance and set boundaries of what was appropriate. I can only assume that the AA meetings and sponsors provide similar structures for the AA people who are doing the 12-step program.

You may be thinking that there's no comparison between the AA people and the "Vicktory" dogs, and you would be somewhat correct. Yes, the AA people had a CHOICE that led to their situation whereas the dogs did not. However, once the habit of drinking alcohol took over the AA people, they lost control over their life as the "Vicktory" dogs had no control over theirs. When that happened, fear automatically settled in along with a slew of emotions. With Georgia, there was anxiety, insecurity, depression and lethargy. With the AA people, they experienced the same emotions including low self-worth, self-loathing, anger, etc. There seemed to be a long list of negative emotions and an ugly perception of self. One of the guys in the meeting had said, "fear creates distortions," and can grow into a hideous monster if the person allowed it. In reality, the fear is usually only in the person's mind. I think we all know how powerful our fear can become if we obsess over it.

I noticed that it didn't matter where in the 12-step program these people were, because all were fighting to survive in their own way just as the "Vicktory" dogs had done before Best Friends. I suspect rehabilitation continues their effort to survive since it can be difficult and uncomfortable especially in the beginning. But changing a habit or lifestyle is tough which is the reason many people avoid change if they can. Fortunately, most beings gravitate towards life over death, and therefore, are willing to tolerate the uneasiness of change because of their desire to live.

To make a "moral inventory of ourselves" can be painful and unpleasant. No one enjoys looking at his "dark" side. But isn't it necessary for personal and spiritual growth? The 4th step makes me think of a person who's been stuck in a pitch black room for a long time trying to find the escape door. And, when he finally finds the door and steps outside into daylight, the bright light initially piercing his eyes can be unbearable. The discomfort of that sunlight in the eyes is equivalent to the pain of seeing the reality of our "dark" side that our "inventory" may present. However, with acceptance and being responsible for your "inventory", the internal pain can begin to subside as well as initiate the release of the addict's bondage from his disease, which I believe is the intention behind the 4th step.

As a side note, being an observer at the meeting, it made me think about the life I've built and was thankful for all the support and encouragement that I received from family and friends. The support and encouragement were the two things that the AA meetings gave these people as well as a sense of family and belonging which some of them didn't have or had lost along the way because of their disease. I recall looking at the people who "shared" and felt only compassion for their struggles. Life is already a challenge without a disease pulling you down like quicksand.

With regards to Georgia and the rest of the "Vicktory" dogs, it was the trainers who were responsible for bringing them into the light, encouraging that flicker of life to grow and ensuring them that not all people operate from their "dark" side. It's tragic and atrocious the way these dogs were exploited for the pleasure of some sick individuals. But it made me feel grateful and relieved that there were compassionate people like those at Best Friends who helped, cared and gave support to these tormented dogs.

At the end of the documentary, it showed the transformation of Georgia and the other dogs. When I saw the smile on Georgia's relaxed face, I concluded that her facial and bodily scars no longer reflected her suffering but instead her courage. The resiliency of the "Vicktory" dogs is commendable. They would make for great role models for anyone who is inclined to give up just because of an abusive past. It is my hope that one day the bad reputation associated with pit bulls will be removed. It's not the dogs who are bad but rather their puppet masters.

Love your dog. If you don't have one, adopt or save one. And, if you happen to get a dog with a history of abuse, a lot of love, discipline and guidance will eventually release him from his past. He doesn't need your pity but your compassion. He needs you to show him that there are caring, loving people he can trust. Finally, working one day at a time to rehabilitate your broken dog, in small increments, is the best way to reprogram the brain making it possible for a healthy, happy dog.

Thank you for visiting my weekly blog. Any comments are welcomed.