Reflection of Us

About a month ago, I listened to an audio by Deepak Chopra. It was the one about happiness. What caused my ears to perk up was when Deepak started to talk about Cesar Millan. Apparently, Cesar had told Deepak that American dogs were unhappy compared to Mexican dogs. And, what Cesar would do was put the unhappy American dogs amongst the Mexican dogs and that would normally do the trick. However, there was one American dog that couldn't get over his depression even after spending time with the Mexican dogs. Cesar thought it was odd until he discovered that the dog's owner was chronically depressed. Because of the owner's emotional state, the dog was unable to overcome his own depression. This made perfect sense to me since dogs are so connected with their owners, they become part of their owner's vibrational energy and in doing so help alleviate some of the emotional burden that the owner is carrying.

There was this doggie client a few years ago who had a beagle. The beagle had irritable bowel syndrome as well as a weak hind end. After the third treatment, the beagle wasn't improving much, so I started asking the client questions about herself. I found out that the client was a psychologist and that she too had a bad low back problem and was diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome years prior. However, her finance was preventing her from seeking proper care which was causing stress in many aspects of her life. I wasn't surprised that both my doggie client and owner mirrored each other's physical ailments. It happens often. So, I suggested that she took care of her own problems to bring down her stress level which will consequently help her dog's own physical problems. Unfortunately, after that talk, the client and her dog never came back. Perhaps, she felt that I had no right interfering with her problems. My intention was to illuminate how her problems were spilling over to her dog who I was trying to help. Some people just don't like to be confronted with the truth.

Ordinarily, I would think about people like that client and I wonder if they were aware of their emotional impact on their dogs, and then feel sorry for the dogs. However, looking at a different perspective, perhaps our dogs come into our lives to put a mirror in front of us to help us see and scrutinize our emotional turmoil. With that in mind, I asked myself, which dog is a reflection of me? Or, are all of them showing parts of myself that I need to work on but am in denial? Hmmm, I would have to give myself some time to think about that.

About two months ago as I was speaking with one of my doggie clients, the topic of dogs coming into our lives for a reason came up. This particular doggie client has a cattle dog named Chopper. This client had never had a dog like Chopper. He was paranoid, always expecting the worse, and didn't show much affection, all of which were the opposite of the dogs my client was used to having. The other peculiar behavior Chopper had was a fear of men. My client couldn't understand this phobia because she had had Chopper since he was a very young pup and there was no incident that would cause Chopper to develop his phobia. Anyone who had to handle him had to be a woman.

Through the years of observing Chopper and trying to figure out the reason Chopper came into my client's life she finally had an epiphany just a few years ago. Please allow me to recount her story briefly. When she was a young girl, her stepfather attempted to molest her more than once. The last time he tried was when she was fifteen years old. He had chased her around the house and finally had gotten on top of her. Her mother wasn't home. Fortunately, my client was able to fight him off. As a result of her stepfather's last attempt, she tried to commit suicide. Luckily, what my client thought were her mother's sleeping pills were actually her diet pills of which she took a handful. Needless to say, my client lived but had lost fifteen pounds within a week due to the vomiting that occurred during the days that followed her suicidal attempt. She was completely dehydrated. Her parents never took her to the hospital for care and observation.

Because my client basically took amphetamines, she was revved up and talked continuously that she ended up calling her mother and telling her what had happened. Her mother didn't believe her but instead accused her of being in love with her own stepfather. How insane was that thinking? It's appalling that because some mothers are so insecure and afraid of being alone that they would rather be in denial about the truth. Instead of protecting her daughter, my client's mother sided with her husband which, of course, created a slew of emotional and psychological havoc for my client. Why would a mother not take her daughter's side? I don't understand that mentality. If you leave a husband, it would end the relationship. However, if you sever your relationship with your daughter, she remains part of your flesh and blood, and thus there will always be a connection.

My client thought she had worked through her past and had found peace within herself until Chopper came along. He became her mirror that reflected the issue she had not completely resolved. When my client finally realized the origin of Chopper's fear of men, her perception of Chopper completely changed and understood what a gift he was. He represented the wound that was still inside my client, and his behavior reflected the darkness in her life that needed some light.

I felt privileged that this client felt comfortable enough to disclose her personal history to me, and, of course, gave me permission to tell her story if it were to find its way in my blog. This client informed me that she was grateful for Chopper who helped her re-examine herself emotionally. She said that even though her fear of men did not prevent her from loving and enjoying men, the uneasiness towards men was still present. She knows now that she needs to continue working on her anxiety towards men as a result of her attempted molestation. Even though her perpetrator didn't succeed in sexually molesting her, she was traumatized regardless. She said to me, "Although I was never molested, I still had all those feelings of someone who was."

"Of course you would have those feelings," I replied. "You had to ward off an adult man when you were a teenager. That took a lot of courage, AND it was traumatic."

So, if dogs enter our lives to help us by becoming a reflection of us in order to give us awareness of what we are in denial about, then dogs are truly our "guiding" angels manifested. Their mere presence gently reminds us of what might be going on within us. They become a constant reminder until we are ready to confront and deal with our own issues that prevent us from living a healthy existence as well as continuing with our personal growth. Many times the answer we are looking for is right in front of us and we can only see it when we have the clear intention and readiness for it. It is as if your dog is a walking billboard parading your challenges in front of you. Yet, there are some people who do not see it and instead think there is something wrong with the dog.

"Why isn't my dog getting any better?" is what I would hear on rare occasions. When I hear that question, I'm thinking, "Well, what's going on with you that's hindering your dog's health?" Of course, out loud, I would ask in a more diplomatic way. It's funny to me that some owners do not see the influence their emotional state has on their dog. But perhaps it may be that they are unaware or refuse to look at their emotional state because if they did, they would have to do something about it like CHANGE! Not many people want to do that. They would rather continue their self-inflicted suffering since it's easier than changing because it's familiar and therefore comfortable.

Love your dog. If you don't have one, adopt or save one. Then, if your dog is exhibiting a behavior that you have no clue where it came from, then look within yourself. You may just find the answer. The dogs that come into our lives, whether accidentally or by choice, have a a reason to be there. I consider them to be a "guiding" angel if they are selected to be with us by divine order to help us look at ourselves in a non-judgmental, subtle way. Our dogs allow humans to be less resistant in making an emotional inventory if they knew it would help their dogs. What I've noticed with the majority of my doggie clients is they are willing to look at any and all possibilities that may be at the root of their dog's behavior and/or physical problem because they love them so much. The consequence of that action may lead to their own enlightenment when the source of the problem points back to them. Many people take offense when a person confronts them of their problem. However, people soften up and are more likely to take responsibility for their behavior when they realize that their dog has been affected by their issue. Dogs are certainly one of our best teachers with regards to learning about ourselves because they teach us by their reflection of us in the most unassuming way.

Thank you for visiting my weekly blog. Any comments are welcomed.