Second Chance

When we found Elektra in our back yard seven years ago, one of my colleagues had said that it was good luck. I don't recall the reason it was good luck but placed that thought in the back of my mind until now. It would be more precise to say that WE WERE LUCKY to have found Elektra instead of her bringing us good luck. But isn't good luck just an opportunity to be happy? At least, I think so. If that were true, then every dog that comes in a person's life is a sign of happiness because it is your happiness that the dog will aspire to. So, what is the role that Elektra and all dogs who find their way to us play in our lives? Basically, their role is to help us become better human beings, and to find a dog gives us a chance to show our compassion by either opening our home to another dog or finding a good home for the dog. In our case, we did the latter.

Initially, we didn't want a third dog and therefore tried to find Elektra a home. Because I didn't want to bond with her while we were looking to place her in another home, she remained nameless and made her sleep on the bedroom floor near our bed. Of course, she slept on a nice, thick blanket. I felt a little guilty about that because Morpheus and Ripley were on the bed with us, and every once in awhile I would notice Elektra looking up at them. But overall Elektra didn't seem to mind. I'm sure it was better than sleeping out in the cold streets.

The other reason I felt guilty was I sensed that Elektra knew I didn't want to get close to her and yet she continued to be affectionate towards me. I figured her behavior was such because I was the person who fed her when we found her hiding behind our cactus tree. Actually, it was Morpheus who led us to her. Also, I was the one who bathed her that same day since she was filthy. I was a little hesitant before bathing her because I didn't know her temperament nor how she would react, but she was very submissive. She neither showed her teeth nor growled at me. She just stood there in the bathtub and allowed me to manipulate her limbs without any struggle but with complete trust.

After a couple of weeks of attempting to find an acceptable home for Elektra without much success, we decided to keep her. We didn't want to turn her over to the shelter because we knew what her fate would be there. By that time, Augustine had already formed an attachment to her. He even wanted to name her Foxy Cleopatra which I neither liked nor felt that it fit her personality. In the back of my mind, I thought, "I don't want her to be a hussy," which was the first thing that came to me when Augustine suggested the name. It sounds silly now but that's how I felt at the time. I think a name is important because it describes the character of the person or dog. I liked the name Elektra, taken from the movie of the same namesake, which seemed more suitable for her. The name made me think of one who is resourceful and a survivor which Elektra definitely was since she was living in the streets for about three weeks.

We learned through an animal communicator that Elektra had a previous home but was kicked out of a car near the wash which was a couple miles away from our house. The animal communicator didn't want to tell us about Elektra's life with her previous owners because it was too tragic to mention. She implied that there was abuse after Elektra outgrew being a puppy. She no longer received the same love and attention that she had. It's abhorrent how some people treat their dog differently just because they have grown older. It truly boggles my mind how some people think and behave. How can you stop loving a dog just because she is older? A dog blossoms after it outgrows the craziness of being a pup, and her personality emerges and becomes more apparent as she matures.

After observing Augustine and I with our dogs as well as Morpheus convincing her that she would be loved by us, Elektra decided to pick us for her new family. Apparently, Morpheus and Elektra had been communicating with each other without our knowledge. The animal communicator said that she was ready for another family as she was tired of roaming the streets and trying to survive defending herself from people and other dogs. She wanted a second chance at having a family and being part of a pack again. Every social creature wants a sense of belonging and Elektra was no different.

Everyone deserves a second chance at having a good life with people who love you especially when you've been abused and discarded because you are no longer considered cute and cuddly. Why does that happen to so many animals? It would be similar to parents relinquishing their child just because she was no longer adorable. Sadly, there are some psychotic people who have done that, however, I don't believe that occurs as frequently as the abandonment of dogs who have reached maturity. It's detestable behavior that shows the level of cruelty and lack of remorse in some people. These are the same people who see dogs as objects. I don't think they should have dogs at all just as some people should not have children since they are not equipped to be parents.

It's unthinkable that Elektra's first family gave her up. She is such a sweet, loving, loyal, and smart dog. I love her so much it hurts me to think of the abuse she received. I noticed all her little fears during her first few months with us. She was even afraid of the ironing board, and I shudder to think that something happened to her with one. Also, she didn't know what a ball was or how to fetch it. It took her almost a year of watching Morpheus play for her to learn. Thankfully, she blended very well with Ripley and Morpheus, even though Ripley had to let Elektra know her place in the pack since Ripley was top dog. I believe they have found harmony with each other and life without Elektra would disrupt the balance they have created.

Elektra makes me think of some of these foster kids who really don't have a home and are moved from one place to another. Unfortunately for them, because they are older, their chance for adoption is very slim to none just as older dogs are not so quick to be adopted. These foster kids are displaced beings looking to get a second chance in finding a home where they can belong and be loved. Their first family either was unable to take care of them, didn't want them at all or the kids weren't safe with them. Whatever reason it may be, it's sorrowful that these kids were removed from their original family, although for some it may have been the best thing for them.

Gosh, there are so many kids in need of adoption as there are a multitude of animals needing homes, yet people continue to pay an enormous amount of money in order to conceive as well as there are people wanting to pay for dogs from breeders. My intention is not to pass judgment towards these people. It is their choice to do whatever they wish. However, I just want to raise some awareness to the plight of these kids and dogs by stating the fact that there are numerous children in foster care and dogs in shelters, both of which are hoping to be adopted. What is it with wanting an infant or a puppy as opposed to an adolescent or a dog? If the adoptive parents are loving, centered, able to give guidance and discipline, then they will receive from the adolescent or dog what they have given. But then again, I do understand wanting to have a puppy. Since knowing Elektra, Augustine and I both wish we had her when she was much younger because it would have been terrific to watch her grow into her older years. Elektra must have been at least four years old when she appeared in our back yard.

There are a few of my doggie clients who choose to adopt only older dogs because they know most people will not. It comforts me to know people like them exist. So, I like to put my energy towards people like my clients with the hope that eventually more people will do the same and not care so much about the age of the dog but rather the dog itself and what it brings to them. Those of you familiar with the law of attraction know that where your attention goes, energy will flow towards it, and the universe will work hard to manifest your desired wishes, and one of my many wishes is to have no dogs in shelters but in loving homes.

I like to think that because "dog" is "god" spelled backwards that when one materializes in your life, it is a blessing from god or the universe (they are the same to me). It is a blessing because it allows us humans to help and care for one that needs it, and in doing that it helps us become better people. Isn't that what humanity is supposed to be about? To be of help and service to all beings in this world and not just to ourselves? It was our good luck that we were given such a wonderful gift with Elektra. She has given Augustine and I so much love that I cannot picture our family to be without her. I thank Elektra often for choosing us to be her new family. Every once in awhile I ask her if she's happy with us. Then, I let her know that we are so delighted to have her be part of the family, that she's my little girl and will never let anyone hurt her again. When I tell her these things, I know that she's listening and understanding because she would always respond by giving me a quick lick on my lips. It's bizarre how she knows exactly where to kiss me since she's never accidentally licked my nose, although that would be okay too.

Elektra works the hardest out of our three dogs. Yes, Ripley is essentially retired but she goes in and out of retirement. And, with Morpheus, when Elektra is barking at him to come and check things out with her, he looks at me sometimes as if to say, "Do I have to go out and investigate?" and I would just say, "You don't have to. Don't worry about it." But Elektra never hesitates. She is always the last one to go to sleep and the first to wake up. She's so vigilant of what's happening outside the perimeter of our house even though her area of protection is the back yard. I sense she is that way because she is grateful for her new home and she wants us to know that what she contributes is valuable. There are days when I know she's exhausted because I see her struggling to keep her eyes open yet continues to stay alert. When I notice that, I let her know that her job at that moment is to close her eyes, relax and be happy. That is the only way she will allow herself to decompress.

Love your dog. If you don't have one, then adopt or save one. Then, know that the dog you've adopted or saved will be so grateful to you that she will give you her undying love and loyalty. Also, know that it was your good luck that the dog picked you because she will do anything to ensure your happiness as well as take over your stress. Studies have shown that people with dogs live healthier, longer lives. It's an amazing gift they give us. What more can we humans ask for? Finally, not only is the dog getting a second chance at a new home with a loving family, but the family is also given a chance at experiencing the beauty of their new dog. Everyone benefits, and that's how it should be.

Thank you for visiting my weekly blog. Any comments are very welcomed.

Find Me A Match

This past Saturday at the vet hospital, my favorite client couple came with their two dogs, Ana and Dena. Even though I only treat Ana, a Rottweiler, her younger sister Dena comes along. You would think it would be for moral support but really it's to prevent her from creating damage to their house if she were to stay at home. I was told that she's quite a terror as she has a proclivity for chewing. But, if you were to look at her, you would think that she was just a curious but well-behaved little dog with a sweet face that says, "I'm innocent." Of course, looks are deceiving sometimes.

I bring up this couple because during our conversation, I happen to mention that I had no idea what to write about for this week's blog. So, they started bouncing off some ideas. Then the wife said, "What about relationships," which I had thought about earlier that morning as I was driving to work. The wife was referring to romantic relationships. This made me think of that website that matched single dog owners with each other. I don't remember the name of the website because I didn't pay much attention to it. I was already married at the time and had no need for it. But I thought it was a marvelous concept. If I were single, I would certainly want to find a partner who also loved dogs or at least had the capability of loving dogs, otherwise the relationship wouldn't work for me.

I think about my single friends who are all looking for a mate, and a number of them have tried those matchmaking websites and still have yet to find someone. With all the people in this world, you would think it would be an easy process to find a partner. But boy, it's tough and I do not envy their situation. I remember being single and having Ripley made it tolerable because she was my constant companion. Gosh, I certainly do not miss the downside of a relationship or dating which was the heartache after a break-up. It was agonizing, unless of course I was the one who initiated the break-up. It's true that time is a great healer. But, it also helped to be busy and to surround myself in nature, which I did with Ripley.

Perhaps single dog owners should have their dogs find them a match. They are a fine judge of characters and can weed out the good from the bad. I remember when I was dating this older guy who I'll just call the attorney. Ripley must have been less than two years old. When the attorney first came to my apartment, Ripley refused to greet him. I thought it was odd but figured it was because he was a stranger to her and was unsure about him. But after a number of times of having the attorney come over, Ripley continued to stay away from him. She even barked at him a couple of times when we were just lounging on the couch which really surprised me because she had never done that before. In retrospect, I should have paid close attention to Ripley's behavior because the attorney turned out to be a cad to put it mildly.

After the attorney, I would watch Ripley's reaction towards any guy I dated and brought home. I decided that she would find me a match. Of course, when Augustine came along, she loved him, probably because we went on a lot of hikes together. I recall when we had an animal communicator talk to all our dogs a few years later, Ripley had mentioned that she knew I would end up with Augustine. She felt relieved that I finally met him because she made it her responsibility to find me a partner. The animal communicator said that every time I took Ripley to the park, Ripley was trying to show me off to potential mates. I thought that was hilarious because I went to the park for Ripley, who apparently was moonlighting as my personal matchmaker. So, Ripley had said that after I met Augustine, she wanted to retire in luxury because she felt that her job was done. She didn't have to worry about me any longer.

Speaking of matchmaker, I have to confess that there is a reality show that I love to watch called The Millionaire Matchmaker. Yes, I am not immune to reality shows. But at least I only see a few of them and not on a regular basis. Every time I watch The Millionaire Matchmaker, which isn't often because I forget it's on sometimes, Augustine would say, "I can't take this," and would walk out of the living room. He cannot understand what the fascination is that draws me to this show. Honestly, I get a kick out of Patti, the owner of the Millionaire's Club and the one who finds these millionaires a match. She is so direct with them. She tells them if they have a commitment issue, needs to start dating people their own age, is unrealistic about what they want, etc., and she has no problem dropping them as a client since she has a waiting list of people who want her service. Also, I like the fact that she takes only clients who are seriously wanting to find their true love and are ready for marriage but just don't have the time to look for themselves.

The fact that The Millionaire Matchmaker is on television is indicative of the difficulty in finding that special someone. I think it would help if you get your dog to find you someone just as Ripley was doing. Your dog knows you best, even better than yourself. Your dog has witnessed and experienced your every mood and choices. Sometimes we are blind to our flaws, which we all have, and we kid ourselves that we are one way when we're really the opposite or we want a quality in a person that really isn't good for us. In any case, none of those things help when you're looking for someone who will fit the person you think you are. But your dog knows your true self. She sees right through you. There were times I would do something I know I shouldn't have and when I would look at Ripley, she would be giving me an expression that said, "Why are you doing that?" or "Are you sure you want to do that?" and all I could say to her in response was, "I don't know. I can't help myself."

In many cases, when we date, we tend to date the same type of person and I'm not just talking about appearances. When I think back of all the guys I dated, they were very similar in their looks, intellect and overall attitude. It was as if I were a broken record trying to make it work with the same kind of guy which of course was destined to fail. I was consistently choosing the wrong guy because it was so familiar to me and I didn't want to get out of my comfort zone of dating a different type of guy even though it was better for me. Then, Augustine materialized. He was so different from all the guys I dated. Maybe with the help of your dog you will be led to a different kind of person with whom you may be more compatible.

There are a couple of my female clients who wish that they could find someone like their male dog. I don't blame them for feeling that way. Their dogs are loving, loyal, honest, emotionally available, and not afraid to make a commitment. They sound like they would be a perfect man. Too bad there isn't a conversion machine that would turn these dogs into men. But then if there were a machine in existence, how would an Akita and a Golden Retriever look like as men? I cannot imagine. All I know is one would be Japanese and the other a Caucasian.

I'm sure you have heard the saying, "When you stop looking, the right person will come along," or something like that. I believe this to be true because it actually happened to me. I was very hurt after I had broken up with this younger guy I had been dating. So, I focused on myself, studies and work. I did a lot of meditating, exercising, journaling and taking lots of walks with Ripley. Before I could even think of going out with someone else, I met Augustine. I wasn't even looking. Maybe that's how it works. I needed to work on myself first, feel complete and content with who I was, and then suddenly I attracted the right person. I've heard so many stories of that happening. I believe that right person shouldn't complete you as an individual as many people seem to think. He should just be the icing on the cake who will every once in awhile challenge you to become a better person. And, Augustine has certainly stretched me to become a better person whether I liked it or not. But that seems to be a natural process in a relationship especially in a marriage if you want to make it work.

I wonder how dogs choose their mate. Do they go by what they smell or the energy that the other dog emanates? However they choose, I'm sure they are not as picky as people. Although there are some people who should have been more selective when they chose their partner. It's funny that Ripley was never really smitten by any male dog. At the park, when Ripley was younger she would occasionally run around with other dogs but briefly. It seemed as if she grew tired of them and wanted to move on and be on her own. She reminded me of myself sometimes in that respect.

I am not a relationship expert but I am very observant and listen well enough to understand the dance of dating. Besides, I dated enough guys and waited a long time before I decided to get married. These matchmaking websites have good intentions and are wonderful in connecting two people together which is the easy part. The hard part is once you do get together, how do you determine whether the person is your match for life? Let your dog help you out with that. As I said, dogs are superb judge of characters as well as exceptional listeners. I know I talked to Ripley many times when I was single, and sometimes just hearing your words out loud gives clarity to the situation.

Love your dog. If you don't have one, adopt or save one. Then, if you are single and are looking for a mate, allow your dog to lead you to a possible partner. Who knows your dog may already be working at finding you a match without your knowledge. If you're already dating or have begun to date someone, make sure you pay attention to your dog's behavior around that person. Your dog has an excellent radar for "evil" and will prevent you from wasting your time and probable heartache. If you are single, don't look to someone to complete you as a person or make you happy. The relationship will not last. Find yourself first, feel whole and happy on your own, then the right person will appear. I firmly believe this. In the meantime, you have your loving dog for support and companionship.

Thank you for visiting my weekly blog. Any comments are welcomed.

Read My Mind

About a year and a half ago, one of my doggie clients had lent me a book on animal communication written by Lydia Hibby. I enjoyed the book so much that when I found out that she was teaching a class in Pasadena I decided to attend. I was a little disappointed because the class was pretty much like the book except for a few gems Lydia passed on to the class. The best thing about the class was that I was able to bring Ripley with me which made her extremely happy. We were encouraged to bring a dog with us for the practical which happened at the second half of the class.

It was fun practicing what we learned as people got up in front of the class with their dog(s) and the we attempted to communicate with the dog(s). Afterwards, Lydia would ask each one of us what we experienced. Basically, if you want to communicate with animals, the most important thing to remember is to be open to any images and/or feelings that may come to you without analyzing or having doubts about what you have received. The more open you are the more likely the dog will send you images or feelings as he will sense that you are receptive.

For example, there was a couple who had gone up with their dog. I can't remember the dog's name but I'll call him Sam. I recall taking a deep breath before focusing on Sam with an open, clear mind. Almost immediately, I got an image of a doughnut. Initially, I thought that perhaps I wanted a doughnut. So, I started having an internal conversation with myself, "Do I want a doughnut? I don't think so. Why would I want a doughnut? I don't even like doughnuts. Then, why am I thinking of it? I'm not even hungry." I had to stop myself because I was over-analyzing the darn doughnut. More importantly, my focus wasn't on Sam anymore. Therefore, I redirected my energy back to Sam. But that image continued to pop up. When it was my turn to tell Lydia what I felt, I said, "For some reason, I kept seeing a glazed doughnut."

The husband of the couple smiled and said, "I'm not the doughnut eater of the family. She is," pointing to his wife.

The wife looked a little embarrassed and said, "I guess my secret's out." She gave a little laugh and then confessed, "Yes, I got a dozen doughnuts yesterday." Apparently, the wife was eating a glazed doughnut at the kitchen table where there was a box of a dozen doughnuts the day before, and Sam had sat patiently hoping to get a piece of doughnut which never happened.

After the seminar, I looked forward to practicing what I had learned on my animal patients, and of course, my own dogs. It was easier to communicate with my dogs since I know them so well. In fact, I would act as a translator for my husband. Just recently, Augustine was on the couch petting and talking to Elektra and I had notice Ripley looking bothered. So, I told Augustine, "Ripley is feeling left out. She says she wants you to give her some attention." Mind you, I'm not really sure whether Ripley was truly feeling that way but I felt that she was and Augustine believed me.

In response, Augustine said, "Ripley, I give you lots of attention. You know, you're number one. You're my best friend girl."

I looked at Ripley and then said to Augustine, "She says you're not treating her like she's number one. She wants you to prove it."

Consequently, Augustine ended up going over to Ripley and massaging her chest, which she loved, while singing her little tune, "You're my best friend girl. You're my best friend Dew." Ripley was in heaven. I could see it in her face, which of course warmed my heart. Dew is a nickname I came up with for Ripley. I got it from noticing the morning dew on the grass during our walks in the park and thought how precious and beautiful it was which totally described Ripley. On a side note, Augustine has made up little tunes for each of the dogs which are pretty catchy because sometimes I find myself singing the tunes to them without realizing it.

Translating what my dogs are saying to my husband happens all the time, even though I'm not one hundred percent sure about what I'm telling Augustine is truly what my dogs are thinking. However, I do notice a change in their eyes and expression after I've communicated it to Augustine. So, I believe that I am picking up what my dogs want to convey. It makes me laugh when Augustine tries to tell me what the dogs are saying because I could just feel that it's not true.

With regards to communicating with my animal patients, it really helps with new patients who are anxious about going to the vet's office, even though I consider getting acupuncture more like a spa treatment. It's so relaxing because of the endorphins released as a reaction to the needles. And, every once in awhile I would pick up images of what caused the pain that the dog is experiencing which is so helpful to me because the owner doesn't always know what happened.

There was one dog who was clear in telling me his wishes. This dog was a Rottweiler named Max who was no more than six years old. Max was born with a very small liver. He started acupuncture treatments once a week to help his liver function and to increase his appetite. I changed his diet and put him on supplements as well as an herbal formula. During every treatment I would tell him that his liver was functioning perfectly well. I did energy work along with the acupuncture. At the same time, I would send him images of joyfully running, playing and eating. Max's owner wasn't in the room during his treatments. He had a difficult time settling down around her, so I had to ask the owner to wait outside until his session was done.

Fortunately, like many of the owners whose dogs I treat, Max's owner was open to do anything for him. So, I told her to visualize a strong healthy liver and showed her exactly where it was located. I suggested that she also visualized Max as a healthy dog and to let him know that his liver was getting stronger. With the work that we both were doing, Max got better. He became a rambunctious, happy dog. Because he was doing so great, I reduced his treatments to every other week and then down to once a month to not seeing him at all. He was thriving. The owner and I were both relieved and pleased about his transformation.

About six months later, Max ended up getting giardia which seemed to further weaken his already delicate constitution. By the time I started treating him again, his body was just too weak. Max's appetite had decreased tremendously and therefore lost a lot of weight. After I treated him for the first time in a long time, his appetite was stimulated only slightly. The following week, I was horrified to see Max looking so emaciated. He had drastically changed in a week. The owner was hysterical. She didn't know what to do because he did not want to eat and whatever little food he did eat, he vomited minutes later. She begged me to do whatever I could to help him.

Alone with Max, I knew acupuncture could no longer help him judging from his appearance. In my mind I asked, "Can you tell me what you want?" and waited. Max had been standing near the door of the treatment room, almost facing a corner. He didn't respond. I didn't know what image to send him and felt frustrated because I didn't know how to help him. I had wished that he could just read my mind, which of course he couldn't. So, I took a deep breath and asked the question from my heart, "Max, can you please show me what you want?"

I believe Max felt what I was asking because he finally turned to look at me and I could see that his spirit was gone. He feebly walked towards me to the center of the room and slowly laid down on his side. I knew instantly what he wanted. All I could say to him at that point was, "Okay Max. I'll tell your mom."

I called Max's owner into the room and told her that Max was ready to pass. He didn't want to fight for his life anymore as she wanted him to do. He was exhausted. Of course, the owner was heartbroken because I think she knew all along that Max was ready to go but that she wasn't willing to let him go yet. I told her to take Max home because that's where he wanted to be. Before the owner left, she had arranged it so that she would bring Max back the following day and have him euthanized in my treatment room with people who loved and cared for him.

The next morning, I got a call from the owner. I could tell she had been crying and immediately knew what had happened. Between her sobs, she managed to say, "Max passed away this morning. He slept well last night and was fine this morning. He was up but wanted to stay in bed. So, I decided to go downstairs to make coffee." She paused for a few seconds, and I could tell that she was struggling to hold back her emotions. "When I went back upstairs to check on him, he was dead," she said. No longer able to contain herself, she started to cry.

I remained silent as the owner wept. As I waited, I felt the heaviness in my heart and the tears swelling in my eyes. But I couldn't allow myself to cry because I had to be strong for Max's mom. When the owner's convulsive gasps got quieter, I said gently, "Oh Patty, Max loved you so much that he waited for you to go downstairs to pass. He knew it would be too painful for you if you saw him dying. At least, he died so peacefully in his bed. It's the best way to go." Having said that triggered the owner to cry again.

I was on the phone for awhile trying to console the owner as best as I could. Having a dog die whether naturally or induced is the worst part of my work. I don't think I could ever get used to it. I remember the first time I ever witnessed a dog being euthanized in my treatment room. I had to quickly leave the room as soon as the owner burst into tears because I knew I couldn't suppress my own tears. So, I had gathered my belongings and rushed to my car where I ended up crying. It was painful. Not only did I empathize with what that owner felt, but it also made me think of the mortality of my own dogs.

Being able to communicate with dogs or any animal can be wonderful and heartbreaking at the same time depending on what's going on with the animal. It's awesome if you can help them and their owners even if that meant euthanizing the dog. The hard part is telling the owners who are sometimes in denial about their dog's condition mainly because they aren't prepared to let them go yet. But everyone has the ability to communicate with his dog. It's innately within us that only needs awakening. It's just a matter of practicing and being attuned to the dog. It's easier than you think because of the bond you have already established with your beloved dog.

Love your dog. If you don't have one, adopt or save one. Then, be open to any images or feelings you may be receiving from your dog because she is telling you something. It may be as silly as "Let me out. There's a squirrel in the back yard," which is what Elektra usually tells me to Ripley's "Mom, I need to potty." And, all Ripley has to do is sit very still next to me and give me a look that I cannot even describe, but I know what it means. I am not an animal communicator. I just try my best to be open. Yes, it would be less complicated if your dog could read your mind but that's not the way she communicates. Besides, I think dogs do enough to adjust to our way of living, so putting some effort in communicating their way is not so much to ask from us humans. Finally, don't doubt yourself. Trust your intuition. You'll always be right if you do.

Thanks you for visiting my weekly blog. Any comments are welcomed.

One Day At A Time

Last week a friend of mine graciously allowed me to come with him to attend his AA meeting at a park. Attending a meeting is part of the requirement for a certification that I'm working towards to become an addiction specialist using acupuncture for people, since I do treat both people and animals. My assignment was to learn and understand the 12-step program and observe the different levels of where people are in the program. I felt a little apprehensive when I arrived since I didn't know what to expect. Fortunately, my friend made me feel comfortable by introducing me to people he knew who also attended the meeting. Everyone I met seemed very nice and friendly.

The focus for the meeting that day was on the 4th step of the program. Quietly, I had to ask my friend what the 4th step was since I didn't know. Without hesitation, he whispered, "made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." This really impressed me when I thought about it. Not many sober people make an "inventory" of themselves because it seems only logical that once you see the list of your past behavior, you may need to make some changes. So, making an "inventory" takes a lot of courage, and some people would rather be in denial because the thought of having to change themselves require tremendous work.

Because I wanted to write about my experience as a tribute to the people who attended the AA meeting including my friend, I thought about how I could weave it into this week's entry. I thought about the personal stories that were shared that day especially the one from a woman who achieved nineteen years of sobriety, and found that the common denominator for many of them was to take life one day at a time. When you're emotionally and psychologically hurting and broken, life is easier to manage and repair day by day. Then I thought about dogs who may be suffering in the same way and have behaved in a manner that society considered "bad" just as some of the behaviors of these AA people were regarded.

What came to mind were the pit bulls that were confiscated from the NFL player Michael Vick's estate when he was arrested for illegally allowing dog fights in his property. When the courts got involved, most of the pit bulls were euthanized because they were deemed incapable of rehabilitation. Twenty-two of them were awarded to Best Friends Animal Sanctuary for special care. Best Friends is a non-profit, no-kill organization that rehabilitates dogs in hope of adopting them out. Dogs that go to Best Friends can stay there for the rest of their life if they cannot find a home, and are provided with the best of veterinary care and training.

There was a documentary on one of the cable shows about the rehabilitation of these twenty-two pit bulls that went to Best Friends. I clearly remember a dog named Georgia who was used mainly for breeding. They showed the contraption that was used to strap her down for the breeding process which was appalling to see. But the most horrific thing that was done to Georgia was the removal of all her teeth. It was speculated that the reason for removing them made her less able to ward off the male dogs that would mount her. It's inconceivable and repulsive to me to know that there was actually a vet who willingly extracted her teeth. Aren't vets supposed to care for animals? Didn't they have to take a vow before they became a vet to do so? Needless to say, Georgia was very fearful and distrustful of people.

Each of the Michael Vick dogs, who were later called the "Vicktory" dogs by Best Friends, was assigned to one person, and a guy named John was selected for Georgia. Because Georgia was so traumatized, she felt extremely distressed just having John in the same room and therefore, withdrew from him. The only time she had human contact while she was at Michael Vick's property was when people strapped her down for breeding. So, it's understandable the reactions she had towards John.

To socialize Georgia, John started sleeping in her kennel at nights to establish the trust and begin the process of being around people without the trauma. John took it one day at a time with Georgia because that was the only way to slowly build her sense of security and control. John never pushed Georgia to do anything she wasn't ready to do but gave gentle guidance and set boundaries of what was appropriate. I can only assume that the AA meetings and sponsors provide similar structures for the AA people who are doing the 12-step program.

You may be thinking that there's no comparison between the AA people and the "Vicktory" dogs, and you would be somewhat correct. Yes, the AA people had a CHOICE that led to their situation whereas the dogs did not. However, once the habit of drinking alcohol took over the AA people, they lost control over their life as the "Vicktory" dogs had no control over theirs. When that happened, fear automatically settled in along with a slew of emotions. With Georgia, there was anxiety, insecurity, depression and lethargy. With the AA people, they experienced the same emotions including low self-worth, self-loathing, anger, etc. There seemed to be a long list of negative emotions and an ugly perception of self. One of the guys in the meeting had said, "fear creates distortions," and can grow into a hideous monster if the person allowed it. In reality, the fear is usually only in the person's mind. I think we all know how powerful our fear can become if we obsess over it.

I noticed that it didn't matter where in the 12-step program these people were, because all were fighting to survive in their own way just as the "Vicktory" dogs had done before Best Friends. I suspect rehabilitation continues their effort to survive since it can be difficult and uncomfortable especially in the beginning. But changing a habit or lifestyle is tough which is the reason many people avoid change if they can. Fortunately, most beings gravitate towards life over death, and therefore, are willing to tolerate the uneasiness of change because of their desire to live.

To make a "moral inventory of ourselves" can be painful and unpleasant. No one enjoys looking at his "dark" side. But isn't it necessary for personal and spiritual growth? The 4th step makes me think of a person who's been stuck in a pitch black room for a long time trying to find the escape door. And, when he finally finds the door and steps outside into daylight, the bright light initially piercing his eyes can be unbearable. The discomfort of that sunlight in the eyes is equivalent to the pain of seeing the reality of our "dark" side that our "inventory" may present. However, with acceptance and being responsible for your "inventory", the internal pain can begin to subside as well as initiate the release of the addict's bondage from his disease, which I believe is the intention behind the 4th step.

As a side note, being an observer at the meeting, it made me think about the life I've built and was thankful for all the support and encouragement that I received from family and friends. The support and encouragement were the two things that the AA meetings gave these people as well as a sense of family and belonging which some of them didn't have or had lost along the way because of their disease. I recall looking at the people who "shared" and felt only compassion for their struggles. Life is already a challenge without a disease pulling you down like quicksand.

With regards to Georgia and the rest of the "Vicktory" dogs, it was the trainers who were responsible for bringing them into the light, encouraging that flicker of life to grow and ensuring them that not all people operate from their "dark" side. It's tragic and atrocious the way these dogs were exploited for the pleasure of some sick individuals. But it made me feel grateful and relieved that there were compassionate people like those at Best Friends who helped, cared and gave support to these tormented dogs.

At the end of the documentary, it showed the transformation of Georgia and the other dogs. When I saw the smile on Georgia's relaxed face, I concluded that her facial and bodily scars no longer reflected her suffering but instead her courage. The resiliency of the "Vicktory" dogs is commendable. They would make for great role models for anyone who is inclined to give up just because of an abusive past. It is my hope that one day the bad reputation associated with pit bulls will be removed. It's not the dogs who are bad but rather their puppet masters.

Love your dog. If you don't have one, adopt or save one. And, if you happen to get a dog with a history of abuse, a lot of love, discipline and guidance will eventually release him from his past. He doesn't need your pity but your compassion. He needs you to show him that there are caring, loving people he can trust. Finally, working one day at a time to rehabilitate your broken dog, in small increments, is the best way to reprogram the brain making it possible for a healthy, happy dog.

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